When you lose a loved one....
Oct 19, 2022
This has been a tough year here at Neuro Harmony for many of our clinicians. Several have lost loved ones.
I can relate, as I too, have lost many people in my life over my almost 45 years here on this Earth. I think we all have our own ways of dealing with (or avoiding doing so) the death of a loved one.
Speaking from my own experiences, I can tell you that NOT dealing with your feelings or seeking help for what you are going through doesn't work out well. You carry it well... briefly. Than it gets heavier and heavier until you just have to deal with it. I lost my mother to cancer when I was just 10. Just 15 months later, I came home from school one day in the spring to find my dad dead in the living room. Death is hard to process at any age, but when you are that young, it forces you to grow up a lot faster in some areas than you should. I've lived the majority of my life in a deep and serious depressed state, even though I hide it well. I am a great actor and show the world what I feel they need to see. Another, much more famous person that did well at making the world happy while struggling with inner demons... Robin Williams. Think about how happy he always seemed. He took his own life. I guess, what I am getting at is that life is hard already...don't make it harder than it needs to be when there are people who truly care and want to help. It doesn't have to be a mental health professional, it can be a best friend, another member of your family... whatever it may look like for you, I URGE you, PLEASE GET THE HELP!!!
When it comes to the death of a parent, there is no such thing as “getting over it.” No matter what type of relationship you had with them, or what kind of parent they were. It profoundly and permanently alters us — mentally, physically, and emotionally — for the rest of our lives. Just know, there will be "bad" or "rough" days for the remainder of your life. It often can come out of nowhere, last a day or two and not come out again for years.
There are generally speaking, 4 stages of grief:
Denial: This can’t be happening.
Anger: Why did this happen? Who is to blame?
Depression: I can’t bear this; I’m too sad to do anything.
Acceptance: I acknowledge that this has happened, and I cannot change it.
I just want everyone to know that you don't have to face your grief alone. Family, friends, professional mental health clinicians... there is always someone there for you. Reach out, get help... also, understand that your feelings are VALID. It is okay to feel anything and everything... and some days you will be numb and feel nothing at all. It is okay not to be okay.
If you just can't deal and you have no one to talk to that you trust, you still have options:
If it's an emergency, Call 911 immediately.
If you or a loved one needs someone to talk to, we are here! Call the office and make an appointment today! 217.508.8080. Holly will gladly pair you up with one of our skilled professionals.
Call or text the National Suicide hotline if you need someone at any time of the day. Call/Text: 988.
I will leave you with this: You are seen, you are loved and you are NOT alone.
Chuck and the Neuro Harmony Staff
Journey on, My Friends.